With technology playing an ever larger role in our day-to-day lives, even from a young age, the subject of screen time can be a source of contention between parents and their children. Parenting educator Laura Linn Knight, author of Break Free from Reactive Parenting, shared her thoughts on navigating family guidelines around screen use, the benefits and dangers of technology, and how rules may change as summer vacation ends and a new school year begins.

When talking about screen time, Knight refers to the host of electronic devices that children and adults might use — tablets and phones, video games, TV and movies, and more. 

“We know that when children are using screens, it releases a significant amount of dopamine,” Knight said. There are healthier activities that also release dopamine, such as exercising and socializing with friends, Knight added, but screen use initiates dopamine in addictive ways more akin to what is seen from drugs and alcohol. 

“What I see in children and with the families that I work with is that often there’s this initial pleasure from screens, and then the meltdowns and the emotional volatility when they’re asked to get off,” she said. “Really, they’re having kind of a withdrawal.”

The good and the bad of screen time

Knight said that pediatricians have established clear guidelines for younger children, including no tablet use except for family video chats for kids under two, and then limiting device use for children ages two to five to educational purposes. 

“And then after five years old, it really becomes up to the parents,” she said. Particularly with adolescents, Knight said, it’s important to set limits. “We’re having a huge increase of screen time among adolescents, and we’re finding that there’s also this correlation of children feeling more depressed.” 

It is important to note, Knight said, that the same devices can be used in a variety of different ways, and parents need not be entirely anti-screen; there are creative and collaborative uses for devices that can be beneficial. 

“I think screens can bring communities together. There’s activities where whole families can work together,” she said. “For example, my husband loves 3D printing, something that he’s really passionate about that involves a screen. He and our son create different things with a 3D printer. So when I’m thinking about screen time, that’s not really where my attention and focus is going as I set up the limits and the boundaries within my home.”

Dr. Amy Allen, Chief of Student Supports for Toledo Public Schools, agrees that technology does have a place in children’s lives. 

“We can no longer suggest that children do not use technology on a daily basis,” Dr. Allen said. “It has become a very effective way for us all to communicate and to learn. However, in order to have a well-rounded student, screen time should be considered only one part of a healthy environment.” 

She added that parents should model appropriate screen behaviors when using their own devices, such as putting down their devices and being very intentional with their interactions with children and adults. Dr. Allen also agreed that monitoring both a child’s screen time as well as what they are watching is crucial.

For activities like playing video games and watching movies, Knight recommends setting a time limit and letting the child be responsible for allocating that time, making occasional exceptions as situations allow. For example, if screen time is limited to an hour but her son wants to watch a movie, that may be allowed.

Collaborating with your kids

Knight stressed that having conversations with kids about technology is vital, exploring the benefits, negative effects, and science of screen use together. 

“It’s important for parents to become informed and educated on the subject so that they can decide ahead of time what they want the rules and boundaries to be within the home,” Knight said. “Then they need to be sitting down and having a family meeting with their children and sharing the appropriate facts, sharing age-appropriate findings with them, and talking also about family values.”

Each family’s values should shape how they think about technology, Knight said, and it can be useful to write these values down. 

“We value quality time together. We value family dinners. We value playing together,” Knight said of her own family’s guiding principles. “So if we have this as our guiding value and we’re really clear about it as a family, it makes sense that we only have an hour [of screen time]. Because we want to do other things together. Families that practice this tell me that there’s more understanding and there’s more participation from children,” she added. “It’s less authoritarian and more of a family decision that’s been made.”

With the start of a new school year approaching, parents will likely want to adjust screen time rules. Knight suggests starting that conversation early and practicing the new routine. “Going back to school is such a shock for children in so many ways,” she said. “They’re readjusting to new friends, new teachers, they’re getting up earlier at school for longer hours. It’s a lot on them emotionally, socially, and physically.” Ideally, then, parents should try to minimize stress around new rules at home by easing into new expectations early.

For more advice on screen-time management and other parenting tips, check out Laura Linn Knight’s book, Break Free From Reactive Parenting,on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, bookshop.org and other major book sellers. You can also follow her on Instagram @lauralinnknight.

By Chelsea Convis and Laurie Bertke

Many parents would like to avoid having their young child watch TV at all. But those parents might also agree that, at certain moments, it’s not that bad to plop a kiddo down with a show while trying to get dinner ready or paying bills. That is even more likely if the show is specifically made with children in mind, like “Cocomelon.” With its catchy nursery rhymes and original tunes, as well as bright cartoon characters, “Cocomelon” seems like a great way to capture kids’ attention. 

But what if shows like “Cocomelon” are actually quite harmful for children? Anecdotal conversations between parents concerning the negative impact of “Cocomelon” on their children have been circulating on social media, and it seems that neurodivergent children might be getting hit the hardest.

One mom shared that her young son, a “Cocomelon” viewer,  tried to run away from home, while hundreds of Redditors share parenting horror stories of trying to turn off “Cocomelon” only to be met with angry shrieks of protest. Many moms share that they become worried about “Cocomelon” after seeing other moms on TikTok sharing how harmful they thought the program was for their kids. 

So, what’s the scoop on “Cocomelon”? Should you steer your child away?

Know your child

First, pediatricians at the University of Michigan urge parents to consider that, in general, the descriptor “educational” applied to apps and shows doesn’t mean they are educational. 

“For little kids, no screen-based activity is ever as educational as talking, singing, or playing with you,” the medical professionals concluded. 

Dr. Aimee Drescher, a clinical psychologist for Mercy Health, said being attuned to your child and their needs is key to determining what shows are appropriate and even helpful. 

“You would want to be very careful about having programming that is above their developmental level,” she said. “It can be overwhelming if kids are not there yet.”

Regarding “Cocomelon,” Jerrica Sannes (a child development expert with an MEd in early childhood, currently located in Orange County, CA) was one of the first people to speak out with concerns. 

On Instagram, Sannes wrote: “Cocomelon is so hyperstimulating that it actually acts as a drug, as a stimulant. The brain gets a hit of dopamine from screen-time, and it seems that the stronger the ‘drug’ aka the level of stimulation a show delivers, the stronger the ‘hit.’ This leads to 1) children experiencing symptoms of addiction and withdrawal, often leaving them dysregulated, and 2) a general discomfort with the speed of everyday life. The more children watch the show, the more the brain begins to expect that kind of stimulation. This makes it impossible for the child to play creatively and without entertainment.”

Sannes thinks that “Cocomelon,” with its two-second scene changes, fast camera movements, and emphasis on multiple effects, is too stimulating for some children. 

What about neurodivergent children?

Neurodivergence is a nonmedical term that describes people whose brain develops or works differently for some reason. Dr. Drescher said neurodivergence is a spectrum that includes conditions such as autism and ADHD. 

Some kids on this neurodivergent spectrum can be easily overstimulated, so programming should be evaluated in light of the individual, versus “a general consensus of what is good or bad,” said Dr. Drescher. “With ‘Cocomelon,’ it sounds like it can be quite stimulating, so with kiddos who are not entirely neurotypical, it could be overwhelming for them.”

Although there are no academic studies on how “Cocomelon” affects neurodivergent children, parents express both concerns and positive stories in comments on social media about the program. 

One mom says, “Cocomelon worked great for my son. He went from nothing but baby babble at two years old to actually saying sentences before his third birthday. ‘Cocomelon’ and ‘Baby Shark’ songs helped with his speaking when speech therapy didn’t work. It depends on the kid themselves.” 

One dad said it helped his nonverbal daughter learn “to sing”. But another grandmother said “Cocomelon” became “like a drug” to her two-year-old grandson. “He had to have it to wake up, sleep, and pretty much demanded it all day long.”

How much screen time is too much?

Some experts think that viewing “Cocomelon” is absolutely fine for young children. Nicole Beurkens, a psychologist in Grand Rapids, finds “Cocomelon” stimulating, but not overwhelming. Its bright colors help babies (whose eyesight is not fully developed) to see what’s going on, and the repetition of the music is educationally valuable for children. 

While the American Academy of Pediatrics screen time guidelines exist for a reason, it’s reasonable for parents to focus on the bigger picture as they apply those rules within their families. If you are going on a five-hour car ride, for example, it’s okay to let your child watch a movie that exceeds the allotted screen time recommendation. 

“I would say knowing when it becomes harmful is more important than the actual amount of time that they’re spending.” said Dr. Drescher. “If it’s impeding their ability to get out and spend time with family members, spend time with parents, that’s when I’d say it becomes harmful. You don’t want to just stick your kid in front of a TV all day long and have no interaction with them.”

If your child refuses to go to bed, is unable to be redirected from television to a different activity, or becomes rigid about watching a program at the same time every day, Dr. Drescher said these can be additional warning signs that screen time is becoming problematic. 

In terms of evaluating programs for educational value, Dr. Drescher advocates for those that teach about cultural diversity and include social-emotional components such as how to talk about feelings. 

“It’s great to learn the ABCs,” she said. “It’s also even better to know how to interact in the world. When you have examples of positive social interactions and talking about emotions, I feel like that’s going to carry kids much further, especially in the world we’re living in right now, after they’ve been isolated for a period of time.”