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The Simplest Things

One of the stories nearly every parent can tell is of a child displaying a preference for the box a fancy holiday or birthday toy came in, rather than the toy itself. Parents may have braved long lines on Black Friday or navigated the World Wide Web’s dizzying display of options to acquire that special doohickey, but a simple piece of colored cardboard proves a more commanding attention-getter.

It’s no surprise that kids gravitate towards simple things. Their imaginations are running at full speed. Unfortunately, too many of our modern contraptions for learning and playing take away a big part of what learning and playing are supposed to provide for children—the opportunity to wonder and imagine.

Just the other day, for instance, Dee had settled in after breakfast for some morning play time. Sitting against one wall was a shelf full of toys—and two full boxes of toys were across the room. Instead, Dee decided to play with two paper towels that hadn’t been needed to clean up after her morning cereal. She carefully rolled one paper towel and declared that it was a “trunk.”  She then informed me that it should be held at the end of my nose, and should be accompanied by the bellowing of an elephant.  A second paper towel she rolled into an even tighter cylinder, and this one became a “straw,” from which her dad-elephant could drink an imaginatively delicious beverage.

Dee recently acquired her second magic wand – this one, an upgrade from a simple star-on-stick, featuring tassels and sparkly jewels.  We sometimes bring one of these wands on a walk through the neighborhood, but she’ll usually make me carry it before we get halfway down the block, to keep her hands free to pick up sticks which she uses to cast more powerful spells (and which we find tucked away in her socks a few hours later when it’s time for a bath.)

High in the sky

The family came along with me on a recent work trip to Texas, and we got to spend a few days in Galveston, on the Gulf of Mexico.  With the shift to Central Time, Dee’s early morning wake-ups came even earlier, and, with her little brother and parents sharing a hotel room for the vacation, Dee and I would sneak out for breakfast to  try to give her brother the chance to sleep. One morning, we took three kites, that Dee’s auntie had given her, across the street from the hotel to the beach.  I opened up the kites and let Dee decide which one to fly first.  The Blue Angels quickly took the sky.  She then asked me to help her fly the second kite, the Space Shuttle.

As we were flying our reusable space vehicle, I spotted another father and daughter out enjoying the morning sun.  The dad was riding a bicycle along the bike path, overlooking the famous century-old Galveston Sea Wall.  The bike path was about 15 feet above the beach on which we were playing. His daughter, a few years older than Dee, was driving alongside in a bright pink plastic SUV, the size of a riding lawn mower, apparently powered by an electric motor.  This distracted driver looked our way and became entranced with our simple diamond-shaped kites.  She took her eyes off the path, and started exclaiming to her dad, “Look, Dad, kites!”  As she did so, she apparently turned the wheel of her vehicle towards the 15-foot drop.  My heart jumped up into my throat, but thankfully, at the last second, her dad noticed her impending misadventure and managed to get her attention — and the pink SUV — back on the path.

The kites we were flying had taken me minutes to assemble and probably cost less than $10 each.  The pink SUV, that  had almost caused a regrettable incident, probably cost forty times that and no doubt includes an instruction manual longer than most college textbooks.
Even our simple kites, though, proved to be less interesting to Dee than something simpler.  She asked me to put together the third kite, a bird, but that one was a bit more challenging to assemble, taking me a bit longer. Dee lost interest in flying kites, and instead took up a two-foot long plastic kite pole and used it to draw lines, circles and clouds on the sandy beach.

Geoffrey Rapp is a law professor at the University of Toledo and the father of a toddler, “Dee,” and an infant, “Ricky.”

Claire's Day

Claire Rubini’s love of the written word has touched many lives. The young book lover died in 2000 at the age 10, and her mom and dad Julie and Brad established Claire’s Day Inc. to honor their daughter and her love of books. Each year over the course of a couple days they aim to inspire children and their families to be lifelong readers by exposing them to a multitude of book-related activities.

The Maumee branch of the Toledo Lucas County Public Library will host the 11th Claire’s Day events on Saturday May 19, 2012 from 9:30 am – 5:30 pm. On hand to share their work with children of all ages will be authors Linda Berber, David T. Greenberg, Carrie Harris, Marlane Kennedy, Brandon Marie Miller, Paul Orshosk, Debbie Taylor, Tricia Springstubb and Claire’s mom, Julie Rubini, whose book Hidden Ohio, is a tribute to her home state. Author/illustrators Will Hillenbrand and Ruth McNally-Barshaw will also be present, and there will be a special tribute to the late author/illustrator Wil Clay, who was a regular part of past Claire’s Days.

C.A.R.E. Awards Presented

A special feature of the Claire’s Day events will be the presentation of the C.A.R.E. (Claire’s Awards for Reading Excellence) Awards. They will be given to students from greater Toledo area schools whose principals have nominated them for their improved reading skills. Executive Director of Claire’s Day, David Justus, noted in a blog on www.clairesday.org  that, “Last year, 313 students who are not normally recognized for any form of academic achievement were given a C.A.R.E. Award for being the most improved reader in their class, and approximately 400 children were given new books at no cost to their families.” He adds, “One of the best things about Claire’s Day is the long-term benefits that our C.A.R.E. Awards) have on students. Generally, the award recipients have never been recognized for any form of academic achievement; therefore, being recognized as the “most improved reader” in their class has been shown to be a turning point for the student’s academic achievement. Our founders, Brad and Julie Rubini, have been approached years later by grateful parents who said that the C.A.R.E. Award was the boost of confidence that their child needed.”

Raising Funds

Those same authors and illustrators will be special guests at a Cocktail Reception at the Main (downtown) branch of the Library on Thursday, May 17, from 7-10 p.m. Guests will enjoy dinner and entertainment, as well as a silent auction, in the Children’s Library. Cost is $75/person, with funds used for grants to schools who sponsor author visits related to Claire’s Day.  Last year, 25 schools (with a combined total of nearly 10,000 students) hosted author/illustrators, giving teachers and children a chance to celebrate books and creativity in their own classrooms.

Additionally, Claire’s Day Inc. will present a $2500 check to the Toledo-Lucas County Public Library Legacy Foundation for the purchase of books written and/or illustrated by the event’s participating authors and illustrators.

The group has formed Claire’s Club for young readers who cannot wait for Claire’s Day to celebrate books. On the group’s website, www.clairesday.org, book lovers can read monthly interviews with authors and illustrators,
online comments about books from other readers, and follow a new blog focused on reading excellence and offering information about community events and reading tips for parents. Sponsors and volunteers for the activity are eagerly accepted. 

More information is available on the website, www.clairesday.org, or by writing Claire’s Day at 427 W. Dussel Dr. #116, Maumee OH 43537,
 

A time to grow

“There’s no job training without a job,” says Charlie Johnson. The Program Manager of the Lucas County Juvenile Justice System’s Community Integration for Training and Employment Program (CITE), Johnson knows what he’s talking about. He’s looking over the site of the Oneida City Farm, just north of downtown Toledo, a project that, in addition to being a local taste of cutting-edge urban agriculture, is also providing a way for young people to move past their mistakes and learn the skills that will help them through life.

The Oneida farm is a joint project of CITE and Toledo Grows, and it works. It works by giving a chance to work to youth who have passed through the justice system — planting, tending, building, harvesting and dozens of other things that rough-edged city kids might never have imagined doing. With several greenhouses, outdoor plantings, animal pens and beehives, the farm is more than just a place to learn. The plants begin in the greenhouses and end up in community gardens all over the area. The food produced from the chickens and turkeys (some 500 last year) is donated to local food banks. There’s even an innovative “aquaponics” setup, where the water from tanks of fish (also raised for food) is used to fertilize growing plants. A full commercial kitchen is also in the works, where students will learn to cook the food they produce.

“It’s the responsibility of adults to teach the next generation how to sustain themselves,” Johnson says, surveying his young charges as they build raised beds for their crops. “We put tools in their hands and teach them to use that equipment.” But beyond the practical hands-on experience, Johnson emphasizes the teaching of the “soft skills” that young adults will need to enter the workplace — skills like problem-solving, communication and time management. CITE then partners with employers who are willing to hire and mentor the program’s graduates. Local companies like Vistual Management and Ohlman Farm and Greenhouse are already very pleased with their new workers, but Johnson emphasizes that the program is always looking for more companies. He’s intent on producing graduates who will achieve success. Looking at the work being done around him, he says “I expect that they will.” 

Making the party fit your needs

Raising a child with a special need certainly has its ups and downs. An impending birthday party, either for your child or a peer, can be a roller coaster ride of emotions for both you and your child. Will anybody show up? Will my child be able to participate? Will my child have a melt down? These concerns are all natural, but with creative planning and realistic expectations, your child can be a part of the fun.

If you are hosting… 

Let your child guide the planning. What does your child like? What are they able to do? If your child doesn’t like chaos on a daily basis, a house full of kids amped up on cake and ice-cream won’t work. Depending on the need or the situation, consider inviting just one or two children over for a birthday dinner, or go to a concert or sporting event. You can still decorate and get a cake, even if there are only a few guests to make it their special day.

If you are hoping to use the party as a springboard for friendships, consider inviting several children, but connect with parents ahead of time. This way, you will have a better idea of who is planning on attending. If you are inviting your child’s entire class, consider what activities will be fun and appropriate for all invited. Ask your child’s teacher for ideas.  Your local YMCA probably offers packages including swimming, gymnastics, and open gym parties. Consider your local hobby store or nearby museums, as they usually offer party packages as well.   

Be realistic about the time frame! One hour of a great time is better than two hours that feels like ten. If there are rituals or medications built in to your schedule, make sure to plan your party around it. Nothing spoils the fun like a child yelling at the kids to be quiet because it’s two o’clock and their favorite show is on, or having to pull away the birthday child because it’s time for medication. 

When they get invited… 

When a party invitation comes home it can be so exciting! Your child was invited to a birthday party! Someone likes them! Then comes worry. What if they serve red dye? What if they do a physical activity? Talk with the party hosts to get a feel for the party, and share your concerns. Stick with facts of what would happen instead of what could happen. For example, would contact with latex party balloons cause a serious problem? Speak up. Are there triggers that would cause a seizure or meltdown? Share this information with the host. If it does look like something your child will not be able to attend, offer another time your child can celebrate, or maybe come for the beginning or ending of the party. 

Remember your child’s perspective. Birthday parties come with a lot of pomp and circumstance. For most children, talking about the big birthday party is exciting and part of the fun. For some children with social disabilities, however, it only increases the anxiety, to the point that the idea of going to the birthday party becomes traumatic. In this case, down play the party, listing it as one of the errands taking place that day. Go to the grocery store, the drug store, then run by the party and stop in. Tell your child you are stopping by the party for fifteen minutes and see if they want to stay longer.  

If your child does have a meltdown, it can be frustrating for you, but confusing for the birthday child. As much as you might want to convince your child to stay, or even demand that they stay, consider the birthday girl/boy. Is this really what you want them to remember about their party? Thank the host, and stay positive. While your instinct may be to start crying, put that on hold for later. Consider the fact that your child tried to attend the party, which in itself may have been a new accomplishment! If it’s possible, talk with your child about what went wrong, and use this as a teachable moment.  

If you know a child with a special need is coming to your party… 

On behalf of parents of children with disabilities everywhere, thank you. Thank you for including our child and know we will do everything we can to help you. If you have any questions, just ask, even if you don’t know us very well. Invite us to stay for coffee during the party. If the party is taking place at laser tag, it is possible that our child cannot attend. However, we can join in where it is appropriate and possible. If a tantrum or seizure does take place, offer assistance, and if it is not needed, remember the other children are watching you for your reaction.  

The biggest mistake is not inviting a child because you aren’t sure how to handle the situation. While the hurt is not intentional, being left out does sting, whether the child has a disability or not. Parents know their kids cannot get invited to everything, but if you find yourself hesitating if you should invite a child simply because of a disability, please think again. Consider the classic question “What if it was my child?” Then go from there!  

Julia is a freelance writer and works with SUNY Fredonia in the Education Department. She has learned not to use birthday candles that sparkle or continue to relight! Contact her at [email protected].           

Sweet and wild

Iris Lauber is nothing if not enthusiastic. “I’m passionate about food,” the Toledo native says. “I bake every day.” But for Lauber, baking is more than a hobby — it’s a way of life. The self-proclaimed “one-woman show” is the driving force behind Wild Flour Confections (known until recently as An Occasional Cookie) a home-based business that crafts custom-made cakes, cookies and more for eager customers both locally and nationwide. Lauber decided to take her passion public some five years ago, when her home-baked goodies won raves. She followed the right recipe for success, getting her kitchen fully licensed by the state’s Department of Agriculture. Once in business, there was no stopping her. “Over the years,” she remembers, “word spread.” She specializes in cookie favors for parties and showers, as well as cupcakes and cakes. Not just plain-vanilla sheet cakes, either — Lauber crafts luscious, custom-made four-layer cakes. She gets excited about her Oreo Cookies and Cream cake, with everything created from scratch. Her enthusiasm is contagious as her business booms. “I’m busy every single day,” she says, “I bake every day of my life.” So, if you need some sweet surprises for a special event, get in touch with Lauber. You won't be disappointed. 4440 Vogel Dr. 419-473-9206. www.facebook.com/pages/AN-Occasional-Cookie.  

A paradise for pups

People love their dogs. Whether it's expressed with outfits, a decorative bowl or a fanciful collar, their care is of the utmost importance to owners. Pups Paradise, a cage-free daycare and kennel facility recently opened on King Rd. in Sylvania, is a great new resource for pet owners. Ron and Becca DeLeeuw, both canine owners and certified dog lovers, saw a need for a facility where patrons could trust that their furry friends would have an active, enjoyable day. "We're cage-free — the dogs have to pass a temperament test and are separated according to size and age," said DeLeeuw. "People love their dogs. They're even beginning to have dogs before they have children." Pups Paradise boasts a washing station where pet owners can wash their dogs at any time, a "romper room" for indoor play and training, an outdoor space and spacious kennel rooms for overnight stays. "We're planning to add a no-leash dog park in the back of our building in the next few months," DeLeeuw explained. Formerly in healthcare administration, Ron now gets to indulge his passion for animals. If you're looking for a place where your pup can experience some tender, loving care, visit Pups Paradise, 3618 King Rd., Suite A-1, Toledo. 419-517-0150. www.apupsparadise.com.