The bonds between siblings are to be cherished. Sunshine offers Community of Siblings, a monthly program which meets on the first Sunday of every month. The program provides children with developmental disabilities, and their siblings, with the opportunity to enjoy specially selected activities, crafts, music, scavenger hunts and more. Offered again since November, the sessions have been in place at Sunshine for a number of years, but were stopped due to a staff change. The rejuvenated program allows siblings of disabled children to learn about disabilities and coping skills, as well as to enjoy a bit of exercise and creative activity. Children range from five to 14 years old. An application and pre-event registration are required. The next session of Community of Siblings is scheduled for Sunday, February 6, from 1-5pm at Sunshine’s main campus. Call Chris Keran for reservations or details at 419-794-1396. 7223 Maumee Western Rd., Maumee. www.sunshinefnd.com.
The heARTbeat of a community
Creative expression is an outlet for youth to convey their feelings. The Community HeARTbeats program, along with Human Values For Transformative Action, presents Listen Toledo!, a traveling exhibit first presented at the Wayman Palmer Community Center in Toledo.
HVTA was launched in 2003 by Lorna Gonsalves to allow children and teens to address issues that were important to them. Specific issues that stood out to Gonsalves, both in the U.S. and abroad, were related to justice and equality. HVTA’s main goal was to mobilize and inspire marginalized peoples (mainly youth) to use various forms of creativity to bring those values into their neighborhoods.
Behind the scenes
As an instructor of Ethnic Studies at Bowling Green State University, Gonsalves encountered students with troubles articulating their insights about racism. After allowing her students to communicate with their creativity, Gonsalves found the results “honest, revealing and inspiring.” She was called in to work with Toledo youth shortly after the notorious 2005 Neo-Nazi rally in North Toledo. “Youth were hurt, angry and confused,” said Gonsalves. “After exploring their feelings through individual works of art, they participated in a collective effort to inform and guide a mural that would represent their visions for the future,” she said. As the word spread throughout the community other groups approached Gonsalves, expressing their desire to participate, and the Community HeARTbeats program was born.
“All murals have been inspired and guided by youth, mostly from Toledo’s urban areas,” said Gonsalves. Professional artists offered a guiding hand to bring the themes and imagery of the murals to life. While some professional artists have rendered the murals and painted them, Toledo’s youth have been actively involved in the presentation and even painted portions of the murals themselves.
Powerful messages
The murals have grabbed the attention of area art enthusiasts, while the youth have feelings of ownership and pride in their work, which provide powerful messages of hope and renewal. “Viewers speak about how the murals debunk the common perceptions of urban youth as troublemakers, who care little for their communities. When youth articulate and share their messages, they feel accountable for rebuilding their neighborhoods,” said Gonsalves.
The Listen Toledo! Exhibit is eager to travel throughout Toledo. Only having shown at WPCC, Gonsalves hopes it will remain active in the community for years to come. Currently, the exhibit is seeking large spaces including school cafeterias, worship halls and business lobbies to house Listen Toledo!
Tremors
The moment of truth came sooner than I expected.
I was always under the impression that babies learned to crawl before they walked. For some reason, neither baby Dee’s mom nor her uncle crawled. They went straight to walking.
I was confident that my own genetic influence would counteract that tendency. I was, like Dee, a big baby, one who as my mother recalls, took a while to walk because I had so much to pick up off the floor.
Our friends’ baby girl, a few months older than Dee, learned to stand and then stood in place for what seemed like a long while before she started to try to take steps. She practiced standing up, sitting down, and generally seemed to have thought through the issue before she decided to embark on her first walking efforts.
Not so with baby Dee. Crawling was omitted completely from the routine—my fault, perhaps, for having hardwood floors instead of carpet? And as soon as baby Dee was standing, she was off.
We started things out somewhat slow. Mom and Dad would sit a few feet apart on a rug in the living room, and Baby Dee would run from one to the other. Stagger, to be more precise. At the moment she neared her destination parent, she would dive enthusiastically into a lap or outstretched arms.
New adventures
Within a few weeks, she decided to strike out on her own. And I have never been as worried as I am now about whether I should have consulted a cardiologist before embarking on parenthood.
With every step, Dee finds a new adventure or item of exploration. That heating duct seems intriguing. The door handle turns! And that laptop computer on the desk has so many fun keys to press.
But since she started walking before developing much of an exit strategy, her strolls tend to end with a “bump bump” onto the ground. Sometimes these wipeouts would make an Olympic skier feel safe and secure; other times they are more modest, slow motion falls. With each one, I’m already plotting how long it will take me to get her to the ER or what additional padding I could add to further baby-proof our home.
Careful companion
To mitigate the damage done, I spent weeks walking around with her, holding her hand so that I could catch her as she falls. As she decided her hands were useful in continuing forward momentum or gripping objects that seem way too heavy for a baby to lift, I was forced into alternative tactics, such as clasping the hood on hersweatshirt to catch the most serious falls. I urged caution, looking in the direction one is walking, and trying to walk over or around obstacles instead of through them. Eventually, on carpeted and padded surfaces or the soft autumn earth, I had to let go.
Every time she teeters to one side or the other, I feel something distressing in my chest. She is actually far more stable than I give her credit for. She can right herself from a fall with an outstretched arm, or even balance on a single leg.
Her abdominal muscles are strong enough to make a Pilates instructor jealous and she uses them for contortionist self-rescue efforts.
Learning to walk is no doubt a
challenge. But learning to watch may be even harder!
Hanging up?
Hold the phone. A new study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health suggests a link between cell phone use during pregnancy and childhood behavior problems. But experts suggest it’s not time to panic.
Data from a Danish study of over 28,000 children, shows that children who were exposed to cell phones during and after pregnancy demonstrate a fifty percent greater risk of developing behavioral problems such as hyperactivity and inattention. But Dr. Alan Green, clinical professor of pediatrics at Stanford University, and author of “Raising Baby Green,” urges caution in interpreting the study results.
“They did find a pretty tight correlation,” Greene says. But correlation is not causation. There may be other common factors in the lives of the surveyed mothers that are equally or more important. “They may use laptops more,” Greene says, “they may eat differently. Who knows? It doesn’t make me leap to the conclusion that [cell phone-caused] radiation is definitely a problem.
It means we ought to learn more about it.”
Many parents will still wish to err on the side of caution, of course, and
Dr. Greene is supportive. He suggests keeping your cell phone away from your body if you’re concerned, and recommends the website ewp.org, where users can compare the radiation output of different makes of phone. “I’m not saying it’s impossible,” Greene says. “It’s about putting things in perspective.”
Crawling Chaos
Don’t let the bedbugs bite.” If you grew up in the last few decades, you could be forgiven for thinking that was just a piece of nursery doggerel recited by unthinking parents—surely a “bedbug” was nothing more than a myth to scare children, a monster under the bed. But anyone who’s followed the news the past few years knows that sadly, these pesky little monsters are real.
In fact, the bedbug, cimex lectuarius, has been an unwanted guest in human homes throughout history. The tiny, reddish-brown insects have a talent for survival, and a taste for human blood, and now they’ve made a comeback. They were essentially eradicated in the US in the years after World War II, due to improved living conditions and liberal use of DDT, but nature is persistent. Denser human populations, increased travel, and resistance to contemporary pesticides have allowed bedbugs to regain a foothold in our lives. The pest’s resurgence was first noted on the East Coast in the 1990’s, but they’ve increasingly spread to places once thought free of them.
Bedbugs have no respect for borders. “They’re pretty much popping up everywhere,” says Carl Embree of Rose Pest Solutions on Centennial Road in Toledo. “Hotels, movie theaters, public transport, airlines.” Poor and well-off alike can be affected. “There’s no social or economic threshold,” Embree says.
It isn’t time to panic—the good news is that bedbugs won’t kill you. Their bites can cause allergic reactions and skin irritation, but they aren’t known to spread disease. But the economic and psychological toll they take on their victims is painful enough. It’s a combination of bedbugs’ sheer “ick” factor and the devilish difficulty of removing them that tends to unsettle.
Hidden in plain sight
The pests are fiendishly well adapted to the places we all live—they lurk in dark places, corners and crevices and of course bedding, and are mainly active at night, when they’re hardest to spot and their victims are asleep and vulnerable. Even in full light, they’re small and nondescript enough that they can blend right in. They can go a long time without feeding, emerging to strike again even when it’s thought they are gone. And, yes, they’ve grown resistant to many chemicals used to kill them—chemicals which can of course carry health risks of their own.
If you’re faced with this crawly menace, the Ohio Department of Health recommends removing all clutter and thoroughly vacuuming the infested area. The vacuum bag should be sealed and immediately disposed of. Affected clothing and bedding should be put in a clothes dryer on the highest heat setting for at least 20 minutes. (Heat is one of the bedbug’s few weaknesses.) And mattresses should be sealed in a zippered cover for at least a year to kill any unwanted stowaways who remain. Pesticides may still be required, but should only be handled by licensed exterminators. And don’t panic—but be sure to know the facts.
Is there an app for that ?
" Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. " – Ambrose Bierce
I had always known I wanted kids. Four to be exact. I remember being pregnant with my oldest son, Austin and dreaming of this perfect, beautiful little boy to hold. Came out with these big blue eyes and head full of thick black hair and was just the sweetest,happiest most cuddly baby you'd ever hold. He kept growing into this gorgeous kid but at the same time growing out of my arms and my lap and to my surprise my boy went and got his own personality, complete with attitude and all !! They don't stay happy and cuddly forever ?! Everything you say and do is wrong and uncool ?? Okay, who do I speak to about not getting that memo ?!
This is when the words start flying. "You're SO mean!!" or "This is SO unfair!" and the worst (usually popping out of the mouths of teens) "I HATE you !!" I have 2 sons 14 and 11 years of age and a 4 year old daughter. (never did get to that 4th one) I think I've heard all those come out of their mouths at some point and any parents first reaction is to dish out some sort of punishment if they haven't already. Doors are slammed and its over.
Then, the dust settles. You have time to clear your head and you ask yourself that famous question "Did I do the right thing ?" "Does he really hate me ?" and we begin to second guess ourselves. Who is to say what is the right thing ? Kids do not come with instructions. I suppose we could all turn to that perfect parent for advice….oh wait…..they don't exist ! Wonder if Siri can help. Is there an app for this parenting stuff ??
Suddenly in those moments of feeling guilt I remember I was that teen that "hated" my mom at one point. I'd sit in my room telling all my friends how life was so unfair without being able to watch TV in my room for a week ! Their moms were so much cooler because they got to stay out til 10 pm on a school night and never had to call home to check in ! At that point you had no clue that your parents were teaching you a lesson and punishing you because they love you and want the best for you. No way because that would have made sense and made our parents right ! You were simply angry because you didn't get your way. What kid wants to admit that ?!
So whats next ? We can open that bedroom door with the angry kid inside and explain that his Xbox is being taken out of his room for a week because were teaching him something super important !! Lets face it…..it wont stick. Right now, if you're the "mean mom" be content with that. You're also the mom who cares, the mom who wants to teach them right from wrong, the parent you want them to become when they have children of their own. Sure giving in and letting them have their way would end the battle and you'd get a handmade "mom of the year" award BUT what is that teaching them ?
I was once told by a counselor that children will lash out at the one person who will always forgive them and love them unconditionally. Guess what, that's you !! Although those hurtful words they throw around break our hearts but they're words spoken from their anger,not their hearts. They love us and trust us and we should never second guess that. Bottom line is we're all going to make mistakes as parents and our children are going to test us because that's their job ! All you can do is your best but one thing I always remember is to be a PARENT first, friend second. Anything worth having doesn't come easy !!
Tiffany lives in Oregon,Ohio. She's a stay at home mom of 3 kids. Austin, Brandon and Peyton. She keeps it real, she's not one to sugarcoat and I'm always honest. Tiffany love sharing my experiences with people good or bad and hearing about others as well. Keep up with her blog at Tiff's Theory.
E-mail Tiffany at [email protected]