Brotherly love

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April 29, 2013

Just two months ago, my husband and I introduced the newest member of our family – beautiful baby boy Nicholas – to our 5-year-old son Lucas. While Lucas was excited to become a big brother, he had a hard time adjusting to our family’s new dynamic.
When he began to act out in uncharacteristic ways, I realized that Lucas’ world had just been turned upside down. Not only was he coping with drastic changes in his daily routine, but I had also inadvertently placed a heavy load of stress onto his little shoulders. I was expecting him to be instantly responsible, independent and more mature when the baby came home. When I made a conscious effort to treat him like a 5 year old again, his behavior turned around.
Many parents experience similar situations when welcoming a new baby to the family. Newborns require a great deal of care and attention. As a result, parents cannot spend as much time with their other children. Older children may resent this and feel abandoned, hurt or left out.
While sibling rivalry or jealousy is perfectly normal, there are steps parents can take to ease the transition for all members of the family.
Even before the new baby is born, parents can engage children in meaningful activities and conversation. Helping mom pack the baby’s bag, selecting baby names and purchasing homecoming clothes are all great ways to get brothers and sisters involved.

When the baby arrives, parents may want to provide older children with special recognition, such as a big brother/sister badge or shirt. Another good idea is to have them give something special to friends announcing the baby’s birth.
Once home, parents should be sure to spend some special time with older children. Bedtime is a great opportunity to read a book together or get in a few quiet snuggles. Siblings can also assist in diapering, dressing or pushing a stroller if they show interest.
Many parents find that despite their best efforts, some children still have difficulty adjusting to a new baby. Possible reactions include anger, regression and hostility. In cases like these, it’s important for parents to be patient and understanding. Allowing children to express their feelings helps with any negative behaviors they may show. However, it’s important to explain that while expressing angry feelings is acceptable, showing angry behavior is not.
Finally, parents should remember that the sibling/newborn adjustment period is temporary. In a few months, as the baby begins to grow and respond, older children will begin the process of developing a loving, lifelong relationship with their new brother or sister.

Kim Schimmel, RN is a Childbirth Educator of Preparation for Parenthood at The Toledo Hospital and Flower Hospital. This 2-hour sibling class for children and their parents is interactive, fun, and age appropriate, focusing on the arrival of a newborn. For more info, call
419-291-5666.

May 2013

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Digital Media

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April 29, 2013

healthy ALTERNATIVES

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Digital Media

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April 26, 2013

Awareness is the first step
A child 5 years and younger can already demonstrate social, emotional, behavioral and developmental problems that affect the child’s abilities to get along with parents, preschool teachers and their friends. Surprisingly, prekindergarten children are 3 times more likely to be expelled from school than Kindergarten-12th grade students combined.
Treating these problems early in life can lead to a better prognosis and favorable outcomes later in life. One of the first steps in recognizing if your child has an emotional, developmental, or behavioral problem is to speak with a youth and family mental health expert. Harbor’s Early Childhood Team of specialized clinicians will work together with you on strategies to help resolve the child’s social, emotional, behavioral and developmental issues. Harbor offers children, families and preschools the tools to be successful in the home, school, and neighborhood. Sometimes, the challenging things young children do are a normal part of their development. Other times, they are more than “just a phase” and need the attention of a professional.
May 6th is National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day. Awareness is the first step in driving attention to these types of children’s issues. Thru awareness then families are empowered to seek the help that their child may need. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services 1) encourages parents and caregivers to nurture their child’s social and emotional well-being and 2) that parents look for and discuss a child’s social and emotional milestones beginning at birth. These two steps can help our youth reach their potential.
If you have concerns about your child’s developmental, emotional or social needs and want to talk to a professional in a confidential environment, please contact Harbor at 419.475.4449. Everyone needs help sometimes. You can also visit our website at www.harbor.org to learn more about our services.

TAP Tested: TMA Baby Tour

By

Erin Schoen Marsh

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April 26, 2013

Tester’s Take: My son’s favorite hobby this past month has been gazing at everything and anything. His eye is drawn to lights/shadows (he LOVES lamps), high contrast images (black and white photos are beyond cool), and bold, colorful images (like the Dr. Suess Lorax trees in his nursery). When I read that the Toledo Museum of Art was offering baby tours that focused on these very qualities, we immediately added the date to our calendars.

Goal: Nurturing visual literacy and language development by exposing babies to colorful artwork with high contrast.

Age range: 0-18 months

Cost: Free ($5 parking for non-members)

Duration: 30 minutes

Time: 3:30pm or 6pm (times alternate each month).

Frequency: Once a month on Fridays (around mid-month); see website for exact dates, www.toledomuseum.org.

Stroller/wheelchair accessible: Yes (although strollers are discouraged).

Wish I had known: I wore my son in a child carrier, and I would definitely suggest that for all parents. It allowed Dexter to view the artwork and allowed me to be “hands-free.” Just wear layers; I was sweating by the end of the tour. We also brought our stroller, and although no one reprimanded us, I later read online that strollers are not permitted. It was a nuisance anyway and I wouldn’t bring it again.

Additional benefits: A free museum tour (docent included), focusing on different artwork with each tour. It’s also fun to see which piece your baby prefers (Dex favored Frank Stella’s “Lac Laronge IV”).

What It’s Like: I was impressed with the turnout: approximately 20 babies were present for the tour (so almost 40 adults and 20 babies!). Dr. Kathy Danko-McGhee, who has her PhD in art education and pioneered this revolutionary program, described the benefits of fostering infant visual literacy at the start of the tour. The docent then explained the various works of art, and participants were given ample time to explore and to explain the artwork in simple terms to their babies.

Toledo Museum of Art Family Center, 2445 Monroe St., Toledo. 419-255-8000. www.toledomuseum.org/learn/babytours.

Motherly Love

By

Mary Helen Darah

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April 26, 2013

Mother: Chrys Peterson
Daughter: Riley

"Have you ever had a friend? Someone who goes everywhere with you, and someone who always has your back? That person you can tell anything to, and know for certain that she won't tell anyone? I have had the joy of having a friend like this. She is the single most important thing in my entire life, and I love her to death! We have been best friends for as long as I can remember. She was with me when I learned to talk, walk, and all throughout my early life, through today. She always takes care of me, and picks me up when I fall. One of the things I love most about her is that no matter how bad her day is, she always puts me, my problems, and my life first. My friend works very hard at her job. She goes to her job at 3 p.m, and doesn't get home until 1 a.m. But I have to get up in the morning and go to school at 7 a.m., and she just gets up with me without one complaint. So have you ever had a friend like this? I have had the fortune to know a friend like this. And that friend is the one and only, Chrys Peterson. She is not only my mom, but my best friend as well. And I couldn't ask for a better best friend to spend my life with." — Riley Peterson, 12

Mother: Ashley Hunt
Children: Leah and Dakotah

“Because I love her paint nails. She takes me to the store and she is rich! I love my mommy and my family. She takes me to school and reads books to me. She loves my heart.” —Leah Ann Hunt, 4

“I love her way up into space and she makes the best food! Mommy makes the best breakfast with good sausage and nice pancakes. I love mommy because she is my heart. Mom is the luckiest mom in the universe.” — Dakotah James Hunt, 6

Mother: Kathy Weber-Moldawsky
Daughter: Meredith

"My mom is special because she cooks breakfast, lunch, and dinner for me. She always gives me hugs and kisses. I love my mom because she cares for me. I also love her because she tells me I'm good at stuff I don't know I'm good at." — Meredith Moldawsky, 7

Mom: Adela Tremp
Daughter: Lisa Tremp Urritia

“I love how my mom, Adela, has such a giving spirit. We stopped by her house one Sunday after running errands. She was sharing with my children Andrew and Kathryn how she was buying a goat through Heifer International [a nonprofit organization that gives gifts of livestock, seeds, trees and training to help those in need to be self-sustaining]. She was telling both kids how important it is to not just give things to others, but to help them learn to help themselves. All of us were laughing because Andrew and Kathryn thought she was going to have the goat in the courtyard of her condo (yes, we are a naïve and literal bunch). I am thankful for the gift of my Mom, the gift of children who have a relationship with grandparents, and for simple pleasures on a Sunday afternoon.” —Lisa Tremp Urritia, Toledo

Mother: Angie Gonzales Deiter

“My mom is special because she is caring and she listens to people. My mom works with special needs children, she loves working with 'her kids.' Even though she has been through breast cancer and chemo, she did not get weird. She still stayed on top of things. She did not get bitter; she is still nice and happy. My mom gets on me about a lot of stuff, but I know that she wants what is best for me and she wants me to succeed in life. My mom is funny and is a lot fun at parties! She enjoys scrapbooking. She makes our family look pretty good. Even though she was scared out of her mind, she taught me how to drive and even took me on the express way a couple times. She is one brave mama. My mom is one hell of a fighter! That is why she is the greatest mom in the world to me, and she likes me BEST!” —Dylan Deiter, 16

“My mother is special because there is nobody like her on the Earth. I thank God daily for everything she’s provided me with. That past fourteen years she has provided me with food, a place to live, and support through everything from sports to education. She knows me better than anyone else, even me. Being a socially awkward and shy teenager, she has pulled me out of the isolation in my shell and I appreciate it immensely. Most of all she is just a fun person in general. My friends consider her a mom to them as well. Calling her “mom” means much more than just a simple name given to parents. A mom is always there for her kids and would do anything for them. Even when I drive her insane she still loves me and that’s special. Many kids in the world will never experience having a true mom like me, and I couldn’t be any more lucky. I can’t even begin to count the things she has done for me. She’s put up with me my whole life. She’s put up with a house full of boys but still wakes up with a smile on her face. She is forgiving, loving, fun, and really connects with everyone. Saying thanks for everything she has done would be an understatement. She’s a strong woman. She raised two kids well, suffered much but still got up, and survived breast cancer. My life wouldn’t be the way it is if I never had that assistance from her and I am forever indebted to her. I’m beyond grateful for what she’s gone through to just see me succeed because it makes her happy. That’s why my mom is one of a kind.” Brendan Deiter, age 14

Mother: Meredith Hustwick, Sylvania

"My mom is special to me because she takes me places. I love mommy because she loves me. I love mommy because she is lucky. I love mommy because she is sweet and she is a girl." — Hadley Hustwick, 3

"My mom is special because she loves me and takes care of me." — Madeline Hustwick, 6

Mother: Crystal Joza, Toledo

"There are so many wonderful things about our mom that make her such a great mother. One reason our mom is so special is the fact that she never forgets things that we need. We love that our mom is so creative and wants to show us new things about our world each day that teach us a lot about ourselves. She is always in a good mood and is always thinking of fun things to do with our family. Mom is awesome, because she’s pretty and I love her hugs and kisses. Our mom is there to support us through everything we do no matter what it is. She loves to plan and help us stay organized with our sports and school. But she never forgets to think about the fun stuff too, like vacations! She likes to help motivate us to accomplish certain things and make sure we are successful in what we do. Everyday we learn something new about life and what we can do to make it worthwhile. Lots of what we learn comes from spending time with our mom." —Madison, 14, Blake, 10 and Chase Jozsa, 4.

42nd Annual Old West End Festival

By

Griffin Messer-Kruse

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April 26, 2013

Celebrate the transition to summer with a colorful street festival through one of Toledo’s most historic and beautiful neighborhoods. The 42nd Old West End Festival showcases local art, music, food and the residents preserving the scenic neighborhood. There will be many family oriented activities, most importantly the 103rd Anniversary King Wamba Carnival Parade — aka “The Mardi Gras of the North” — where any individual or group is welcome to join the hodgepodge of characters in the procession and witness the crowning of this year’s King & Queen. This year there will be prizes for festival floats, including: most creative, best overall and more. Other official activities include house tours, a juried art fair, live music, food vendors, yard sales, an antique car show and a beer garden. Unofficial activities include front yard BBQ’s and front porch people-watching. Advance registration for the parade is required. Visit the website for more information on how to register for the parade and full schedule of activities. 9:30am, parade registration; 10am start. Festival goes all day Saturday & Sunday. Free. www.toledooldwestend.com—GMK