As part of our nightly bedtime ritual, I lay in bed with my son and tell him stories- he chooses the topic. Not too long ago, he requested a story about “Whodo” and “Whodah”. I asked, “What are Whodo and Whodah? I can’t tell you a story about that unless I know what it is.” With a little prodding, my toddler revealed that Whodo and Whodah are little boys that play with him. When I asked more about them, he told me they are boys with red hair, and they are “little studs”. A night or two later, I discovered the existence of a third pretend playmate, named “Whydo.”

My son’s imagination sparked the recollection of my own imaginary friends. When I was around his age, 3, I had six of them. Intrigued by my son’s,  and recollections of my own, imaginary playmates, I delved further into the land of make-believe. Here’s what I found.

The Important Role of Imagination

Research indicates that an active imagination is a normal part of childhood from preschool and beyond. Almost all children play pretend games and interact with a stuffed animal or toy as if it were a person just like them; up to 37% of children take it a step further and invent imaginary friends.

Do children create imaginary playmates due to loneliness or social problems? Current research says no, not typically. In her book “Imaginary Companions and the Children Who Create Them,” Dr. Marjorie Taylor (Professor of Psychology, University of Oregon) investigates the role of imaginary companions during the preschool years. Based on a plethora of research in early child development, she writes, “…Fantasy play is an important component of children’s cognitive and emotional development…fun and companionship are the primary reasons most children create imaginary companions.”

Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Rebecca J Alperin, Ph.D. (left), of Psychological Resources, Ltd. in Toledo, elaborates, “Imagination actually helps children develop a sense of reality versus fantasy. Humans are, by nature, social creatures; part of childhood is learning how to manage that socialization. Imagination helps children develop thinking skills, (learn) how to process and solve problems, (utilize) communication skills, how to identify what makes them happy, sad, angry, or scared, and how to think creatively. Research has also shown that play and imagination help build and develop neurological connections and pathways. All of these things are important in helping children grow into healthy individuals.”

Mastering Emotional Intelligence

Dr. Taylor refers to the preschool years as “the high season of imaginative play,” stressing, “One of the special functions of pretend play is to help children control and master their emotions.”

Dr Alperin concurs, “Imaginary friends help children develop emotional and social abilities in a variety of ways. They can use imaginary friends as a way to deal with fears or worries (such as telling their parent the friend needs a night light because the friend is afraid of monsters under the bed). They use imaginary friends as a way to place blame on someone (such as telling their parents that the friend made a mess in the kitchen from eating cookies before bed).”

Imaginary friends can be a coping strategy when a child is going through something difficult. “Fantasy play or imaginary friends help children deal with their worries or fears by giving them a way to ‘act’ without verbalizing it… Play is a less threatening way to process worries such as fear of the dark, peer issues (e.g. bullying), and family changes (e.g. divorce or new babies),” Alperin says.

What Type of Child Creates an Imaginary Friend?

Dr. Taylor notes, “..Children who create imaginary friends are very social people who particularly enjoy interacting with others…When no one is around to play with, these children make someone up.”

Dr. Alperin adds, “There are other children who may be quiet and shy and thus use imaginary friends as a way to build self-confidence… There does not seem to be any specific trait of children who have imaginary friends. Children from all kinds of families, cultures, and ethnicities can develop imaginary friends.”

Can a child’s imaginary friend ever be cause for concern? “There are some children who may use an imaginary friend because they are lonely or extremely shy; if that is the case, those are issues that need to be addressed by the parent, teacher, or other professional,” Dr. Alperin recommends.

Baffled about how to handle an imaginary friend? Play along! In the majority of instances, parents can relax and have fun promoting their child’s active imagination. This is a truly magical time in your child’s life. Paying close attention when your child talks about her imaginary friend can give you unparalleled insight into her desires, fears, and interests.

Flu season’s over, but kids can still catch some pretty nasty bugs. Although quite common, I hadn’t heard of Hand Foot and Mouth (HFM) until my son came down with it last summer.

Most often seen in children between the ages of 1 and 5, HFM, an enterovirus, is highly contagious. Painful sores sprout up in and around the mouth, on the hands, as well as on the feet, lasting 7-10 days. In the throes of an adventurous summer, this virus was a doozy, and I counted down the days as it painstakingly ran its course. Pediatrician Dr. Robert W. Mills (left) of Pediatricare Associates details the symptoms of HFM and offers some suggestions for making little ones a little more comfortable.

Symptom Onset is Fast and Furious

A sudden fever and sore throat are the typical symptoms appearing first with HFM.

“Over the next few days…the classic square shaped blisters appear in the mouth, on the hands, and feet,” Dr. Mills advises, adding that blisters sometimes appear on the knees, legs and buttocks.

With my son, the fever came on fast and strong; he had a severe sore throat the next morning. Although no blisters formed on his body, many popped up inside his mouth, including his tongue, and on the back of his throat, then turned into sores, making eating and drinking intolerable. His pain was intense and constant, and he had difficulty sleeping.

Home Remedies to Ease the Pain

Controlling the fever and pain with Tylenol and Motrin and maintaining good hydration are crucial in the management of HFM. Blisters on the hands and feet should be kept clean and uncovered; antibiotic ointment and a bandage can be applied if a blister pops.

Dr. Mills suggests clear fluids (fruit juice can burn the sores), ice cream, popsicles, and bland foods such as mashed potatoes, avocados, and bananas, and explains “We may also recommend a ‘magic mouthwash’ which is… a 50/50 mix of liquid Maalox and Benadryl that can be swabbed on lesions every 6 hours. Some doctors add a viscous lidocaine (a numbing agent), but I do not recommend this as kids then tend to injure their numbed mucous membranes. The primary risk (with HFM) is dehydration since younger kids tend to refuse all fluid and foods”.

Unfortunately, since HFM is a virus, there’s not much to do except let it run its course. Hydration proved to be a challenge with my son, and I resorted to using a small syringe (1/6 an ounce) to give him fluids as often as he could stand. Even swallowing such small amounts of liquid was agonizing for him, and the result would be both of us in tears.

A few days in, after another sleepless night for us both, we ended up in the ER, as I could no longer endure forcing fluids on him, and he was becoming dehydrated. Though I had offered popsicles at home, he had consistently refused them. Miraculously, he ate three popsicles at the hospital, and we were discharged. To my immense relief, he continued to eat popsicles, ice cream, and later yogurt at home, but it took a full ten days for him to recover (two trips to the pediatrician’s office, one trip to urgent care, and one trip to the ER later).

Prevention

The virus is most contagious in its first week, spread through saliva, blister and nasal secretions, airborne particles from sneezing and coughing, and stool. “A child can be better clinically, but continue to shed the virus in their stool for several additional weeks, making good hand-washing important,” Dr. Millsemphasizes. Avoiding the secretions of an infected child and cleaning toys and surfaces are also important, as the virus can live on such places for several days. Thankfully, most children develop immunity after one HFM infection and don’t get it again.

Signs of Dehydration: When to Call the Doctor

-Dry diapers or dark urine
-Sunken eyes or lack of tears when crying
-Dry mouth and tongue
-Lethargy or Irritability
-Sunken spot in front of the head (in babies)