Every now and then you meet a superwoman— a woman who does it all– and Melissa Andrews is exactly that. Andrews works full-time, working from 2:30am to 9am, yet still makes time to greet the kids at the bus, to help with school functions, and to volunteer with nonprofit organizations.

How she does it

Andrews only sleeps about five hours a night, going to bed before 8 and rising at 1:30 in the morning. She arrives at WTOL within an hour of waking, and she is live with the news from 4:30 am to 9 am.

While these hours may seem brutal, Andrews clarifies, “For me, there are no better time slots. My schedule allows me time to volunteer in school and to get the kids off of the bus, which is important to me— I was a latchkey kid. I can offer my kids dinner, or we can work on homework or they can run down the street to play with the neighbors.”

“I sacrifice personally with sleep and social events with friends,” says Andrews, “but they’re succeeding because of my sacrifice.”
She continues, “A lot of parents take that sacrifice to keep those morning hours for ‘promotion.’ In our business, you strive to be the main anchor. You would never think you’d turn something like that down, but my work/life balance is more valuable. I did not bring these three kids into the world to not see them. We just make it work.”

Team Approach

Andrews says juggling all of this is only possible because of her husband, Ryan. Andrews explains that her husband takes the three kids, Reece, 8, Drew, 6, and Rory, 2, to daycare and school each morning. The two eldest are in three sports each, and Ryan takes them to all of their events and also coaches.

“We have a good division after several years of doing this,” said Andrews.

Andrews adds that her husband never watches her on TV because it’s “not a big deal to him.”

“It doesn’t phase him at all; we don’t talk about my work, and I like that,” she said. “My kids don’t watch me either. I don’t think of myself as anything extraordinary.”

Journalism was always in the cards for Andrews. “I was the type who would sit down in front of the mirror and read the newspaper,” reminisces Andrews. “I would give the news to my sorority sisters and ask them to read in their best news voice. They would just laugh at me. I have always loved the writing and the telling of the stories.”

Finding the balance

Struggling to maintain a successful work/life balance has taught Andrews many lessons. She advises other mothers to “Quit saying that you don’t have time for yourself. If you take that time, you’d be amazed by what that can do for you. I’m a better mother because I take the time for myself to exercise.”

“But you have to slow down and learn to say ‘No.’ It’s hard for moms to do that. You’re a community advocate, friend, wife, mom. Say ‘No’ and prioritize. I thought at one point this job was going to kill me, but something changed in my schedule, and it ended up being the best thing that could have happened.”

Q&A with
Melissa Andrews

What’s your favorite activity to do with your family? Cuddling up and watching a movie.

Best holiday memory you have from when you were a kid? Going to church on Christmas Eve.

What’s your go-to activity when you finally have a few minutes to yourself? Hot bath.

Describe your life in five words or less. Crazy. Hectic. Full. Grateful.

What is your favorite Toledo hangout? At a Mud Hens game or any place downtown. And I love Core Life Eatery.

Describe Toledo in a sentence? Toledo is, to me, a mini-Cleveland. It offers so much of home on a smaller scale.

Temper tantrums are a reality all parents experience from time to time, and even though they can be exhausting, there are benefits. Consider that your younger child has only been on the earth for a handful of years and every powerful emotion is new to them. Tantrums allow children to express their frustration with what’s happening in the moment. Sometimes it’s as simple as being hungry, tired or overstimulated. Sometimes it’s a combination of factors, and your child does not have the vocabulary to express fear, anger, or desire for independence.

Help your kids cope

Teaching children how to name and appropriately respond to feelings gives them the opportunity to become more self-aware. Martha Campbell, a mental health counselor with A Renewed Mind in Toledo, has this advice for parents. “When a child is having a meltdown, it’s important to ask what the goal is for their behavior. Do they want to eat? Sleep? Are they trying to manipulate you?”
Campbell says that most children don’t throw a tantrum to frustrate their parent, but older ones may have learned that tantrums, particularly ones in public, will be rewarded. It’s important to set consistent, clear boundaries with your child and not give in to a meltdown or allow him/her to get out of something they may not like.

While there’s no guaranteed way to prevent tantrums, it’s good to know that as children grow, so too does their ability to mindfully manage their emotions. But what’s a mom or dad to do in the meantime? Parenting is a skill often learned through trial by fire, and dealing with strong emotions (especially those brought out by your child’s tantrum) can be quite challenging.

What’s best

“Affirm your child’s feelings using a soothing tone,” says Jenni Miller, a former preschool teacher at West Side Montessori. “Tell your child that things people feel are never wrong, though choices can be. Speak with resolve so that your child can sense you have confidence in what’s best for him/her. This is different than having authority, though that can be important and have its place, too.”
Perhaps the best tool is being aware of how you express your own emotions in front of your child. Jenni suggests giving your child space (emotionally and perhaps physically) and if the tantrum increases, walk away until he/she is ready to talk. Start by affirming their feelings, then state what needs to change. If your son/daughter is not ready, that’s okay. Let him/her sit and decide when they can choose different behavior. Above all, make sure you explain consequences for both positive and negative behavior and be consistent with following through.

The good news is that, even though it may seem a lot longer, the average tantrum lasts around three minutes. So while your child is happily playing post-meltdown, and you may still be agitated from having to deal with an outburs, that’s a good time to take a deep breath, regroup, and take heart in the fact that this too shall pass.

Mindfully Managing
a Meltdown

Be consistent. Establish a routine you can stick with as much as possible. Set reasonable limits and follow through consistently.

Plan ahead. Run errands when your child is well-fed and rested. If you know you need to stand in line, bring a bag of snacks or a small toy.

Let your child choose. To avoid saying “No,” give your child a sense of control by allowing him/her to make choices. (i.e. “Would you like to wear the red shirt or the blue one?”)

Select a timeout spot. When your child has a meltdown at home, seat him/her in a chair and wait until the outburst ceases. If your child gets up anyway, return him/her to the chair and do not respond to anything your child says until the timeout is over.

Reaffirm feelings. Once your child has calmed down, reassure him/her that you understand their feelings and use age-appropriate language to discuss healthier ways of expressing them.

Be patient. Most children begin to have fewer tantrums by age 3 1/2. If your child is having trouble speaking at an age appropriate level, is causing harm to himself/herself or others, holding his/her breath during a tantrum to the point of fainting, or if tantrums get worse after the age of 4, talk to your pediatrician.