It is estimated that more than 90% of children older than 2 play video games. Children ages 8 to 17 spend an average of 1.5 to 2 hours gaming daily. While three out of every four American households owning a video game console and children being entrusted with cell phones – essentially handheld gaming devices – at younger and younger ages, these numbers are expected to rise. Today gaming is an unavoidable part of childhood. 

Parents’ perspectives on gaming need to shift. It is no longer a question of whether kids should play video games, but rather ‘how is their time spent gaming going to affect them?’ And how we can guide them to reap the benefits of gaming while mitigating its negative effects?

Benefits and drawbacks of gaming

If you ask parents about the benefits of video games you’ll probably get some funny looks. They may even tell you that video games are a waste of time. And maybe that was true 25 years ago, but video games have come a long way. Modern-day games are more sophisticated, and much more challenging than in the past. Current video games require keen reflexes, strategic thinking and the ability to quickly adapt to new situations.

Pro: The most obvious benefit of gaming is increased hand-eye coordination. Whether holding a controller in hand, poising hands on a keyboard and mouse or swiping furiously on a smart phone, players constantly hone hand dexterity while gaming; a benefit that could serve them well in their adult lives. Older generations identify today’s kids as adept at operating devices? This is why.

Con: On the flip side, while building up great hand-eye coordination, players may not be getting much physical activity. Over time this could lead to a sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits. In extreme circumstances, obesity could become a very real problem, even for an age group renowned for having beneficial metabolism rates. Poor posture, either due to not sitting correctly or not having proper seating for prolonged periods, and eye strain are also physical concerns to watch out for.

Pro: Today’s challenging and competitive video games have child players utilizing higher brain functioning. The potential cognitive benefits of gaming include problem-solving (trying to solve complex puzzles or how to defeat difficult enemies), strategic thinking (trying to outwit other players) and quick decision-making skills (solving new challenges in real-time).

Con: As young players rush to master these complex games, and compete with other players, some may slip into the habit of gaming far too much. This ‘need to keep up’ can lead to serious mental health issues like gaming addiction, anxiety and loss of confidence and self-identity. The ramifications of gaming addiction are far-reaching and should not be underestimated. Other mental health issues can arise when children fail to keep up with other players, either from real failure – losing a match – or simply perceived. Warning signs to watch for, besides the amount of time spent gaming, are phrases like “I’m not good enough” or “I wish I had that” Another warning sign is players asking to spend extra money on a game that is either free-to-play or that they already own.

Pro: Many games now include multiplayer elements. Sometimes the action pits players against each other, but with some games players must communicate and work together to overcome obstacles. These social interactions allow children to interact with players from all around the world, fostering increased social and communication skills.

Con: Being able to interact with like-minded friends, that they likely would never have met in the real world, is a remarkable thing. However, that interaction could lead to children favoring those friends while pulling away from real life friends and family. Over time, real life friends may grow distant. It’s normal for children to start pulling away from their parents as they approach adulthood and start to find themselves, but when this natural and expected phenomenon occurs with online influences parents are not able to meet and assess the individuals that their child is associating with.

Pro: Children, especially teens, may also find gaming to be an emotional outlet — a bastion from the problems of the real world. Being able to escape reality for a short time can go a long way in relieving stress, a benefit that can also extend to adults.

Con: Problems can occur when the bastion of gaming comfort becomes more appealing than the real world. When child players would rather be participating in a video game than go to school or have dinner with their family, that is a perfect example of too much of a good thing becoming a bad thing. Another danger is the threat of a child’s digital world turning sour, when that safe space becomes a toxic environment that continues to lure them in.

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Moderation, communication and guidance 

A multifaceted aspect of modern childhood, video games offer both tangible benefits and potential drawbacks. By understanding the pros and cons of gaming, children can benefit from and attain the cognitive, social and emotional benefits of gaming, while minimizing its risks. The key to a positive gaming experience lies in purposeful moderation, open communication about online interactions and knowledgeable parental guidance.

An amalgamation of the words net and etiquette, netiquette, refers to the acceptable way of communicating on the internet. A virtual code of conduct for being appropriate and respectable when engaging with others online, to some, this comes naturally, but others must learn it the hard way. 

As your tweens and teens further explore the world wide web, it is important to start them out on the right foot.

There’s another person on the other side of the screen

If you can only impress upon your teen one thing to remember when communicating online, let it be a reminder that they are interacting with other people – with thoughts and feelings just like them. Due to the inherently elevated level of anonymity that exists online, it’s easy to be less empathetic than you would be when speaking with someone face to face. So, encourage your teens to put themselves in front of other’s keyboards.

Do your research

By now, we’ve all heard it. ‘Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.’ Remember that children are impressionable, and teenagers, who are trying to figure out who they are and their place in this world, are often even more so. It is always important to urge them to gather information from multiple, reliable sources before accepting something as truth. Remind them, if it sounds questionable, they should question it.

Respect the privacy of others

Though the parameters may be a bit different, being respectful is no less important when online. Just because someone posts something online, it does not mean that they want everyone to see it. Please remind your teen to respect the privacy of others by checking with the original poster before sharing it anywhere else online. Likewise, spreading some information offline should also be discouraged.

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The internet is forever

This is one lesson that your teen will thank you for later in their life. Things said, pictures posted, etc., have a way of sticking around online for a lot longer than the may think. So, remind your child to carefully consider what they type, especially when emotions are high, and what they upload. This is called your digital footprint – something your teenager needs to be aware of. Even if they think they’ve posted something privately, it only takes one person to disrespect your privacy by copying, clipping or altering your content and then reposting it in a public location.

The real world doesn’t cease to exist when you’re online

It may seem to your teens that when they are online, they are in a different reality. However, conversations, arguments, secrets shared and pictures exchanged can have real world consequences. Friendships, relationships and reputations can all be damaged by actions taken online. Additionally, encourage your children to balance real-world socialization with their online socialization. It may sound silly to hear your child say they ‘forgot how to speak to people’, but it can be a very real thing.

Building trust

It is impossible to keep track of everything your teen sees online, so it is important to trust that they will make the right decisions. It is a two-way street. You want to be able to trust them, and they want to be trusted. This is best accomplished by keeping clear, open lines of communication with them. Don’t give them a reason to hide things from you. Talk to them about their online usage. Be engaged, be informed. Even the illusion of you knowing what they’re talking about may keep them on the straight and narrow.

And remember, your teen learns best through their own experiences. At this age, it is important to give them freedom, but you can still impress upon them how you expect them to act online. With your guidance, and these basic tenets of netiquette, your teen can more effectively engage with what the internet has to offer.