Demystifying Discord for Parents of Teens
With the chat features of Skype combined with Reddit-like discussion boards, Discord is the social media network that many parents havenโt even heard of.
Launched in 2015 and targeted at gamers, Discord has grown into the premier online location for teens to gather online. With nearly 200 million users worldwide, this free app allows users to communicate via chat, voice, and video. Though the average user is just 16 years old, the platformโs reliance on user-based moderation and minimal parental controls allows a plethora of potential dangers to lurk in the shadows of Discord.
What is the allure of Discord?
Discord is arguably the best communication platform for gamers, but itโs the communities that attract users to it. Whether youโre looking for others with common interests, a place to share memes or just want to hang out with your friends and watch their streams, Discord probably has a place for you. And if it doesnโt, you can create it yourself.
With all of that going on, parents shouldnโt be surprised when their teen asks them if they can get Discord. Besides, their friends are probably already on there.
Is there a dark side to Discord?
Though not a true social media network, Discord meets all the criteria. And with that status comes all the dangers of social media. Except, itโs in real time, itโs interactive and voice and video are just a couple clicks away.
Though many of the popular servers are moderated by other users, your teen is more likely to be in servers created by other teens โ or themselves โ and are therefore probably not moderated. Meaning that anyone with an invitation to the server could be in there, and whatever they type, or share could be seen.
Due to being in real time, the fear of missing out (FOMO) can become an issue. Conversations on Discord arenโt like other social media platforms where you can simply come back to a post later. Discord is more like the chat rooms of old: constantly moving and scrolling. Catching up can be a time-consuming task that most teens would probably choose to avoid by just staying glued to their screens.
Can teens find a sanctuary within Discord?
Despite all those dangers, Discord can be a wonderful, supportive place. The keys to keeping your teen safe on the platform are trust and open communication, understanding the privacy and security settings available and establishing and enforcing the appropriate boundaries.
Even letting your teen use Discord is a huge display of trust on a parentโs part. Itโs important to keep an open line of communication with your teen about who they are talking to and what they are talking about on Discord. Take the time to ask them about their online friends and what conversations theyโre having. Additionally, because Discord allows users to change their display name at any time, itโs also not a bad idea to ask them whoโs who.
Though Discordโs privacy and security settings leave much to be desired, there are some settings that you may want to consider turning on. Once you get in the app, look for the gear symbol called User Settings. In this menu, you will want to focus on the settings under Privacy & Safety, Friend Requests, and Family Center. Most of these settings include a link to more information about what each does.
It is important to remember that these settings, excluding the family center, can be edited by your teen. So, you should set some ground rules with your teen. Itโs also important to understand that even with the Family Center enabled your teenโs messages will stay private. There are bound to be different opinions on this, but it may be a good idea to periodically spot-monitor your teenโs activity on the platform. Check to make sure their settings are still intact and then scroll through a few chats to make sure they are following the guidelines you both agreed on. If they are not, donโt be afraid to remove access to Discord for a set amount of time. You will find that doing so is a highly effective punishment.
Now that you understand more about what Discord is, why your teen wants to use it, what dangers they may face on the platform and how you can keep them safe from those dangers, you can make an informed decision about letting them use the app.
And remember, Discord isnโt just for teenagers. Sometimes the best way to understand what your teens are up to is by joining them!
Playful Ways for Tweens and Teens to Practice Mindfulness
A few weeks ago, my son came home from school pretty stressed out about his math and Spanish homework and the pressure to study for the upcoming spelling and geography bees. I could see it in his eyes that starting his homework immediately after walking in the front door was not the best idea.
โLetโs play some Jenga before you start your homework,โ I suggested.
โWhat?! Play games when I have so much work to do? Isnโt that a waste of time?โ he quickly responded.
โYouโll see. I promise that after you focus on some Jenga, you will be ready to tackle your homework with a much clearer head.โ
What does Jenga have to do with stress reduction? Well, it is a mindfulness activity in disguise. Mindfulness,ย the act of focusing on the moment in a non-judgmental way, helps our kids become aware of the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.ย Thousands of studiesย show thatย mindfulness improves both physical and mental healthย by relaxing us.
Being a tween or teen can be stressful when dealing with school pressures, puberty, bullying, social media, and conflicts with parents. According toย TeenHelp.com, most teens feel some sort of stress, and many are quite stressed out.ย It’s imperative that they learn how to manage their stress in a healthy way, and mindfulness is a simple and enjoyable tool to use.
However, we have to be careful not to make it too serious and complicated. Instead of forcing them to attend a meditation class or sit cross-legged on a pillow in the corner of their room, we can introduce some playful ways for them to practice mindfulness. It will be such a blast for them that they may not even realize they are doing something positive for themselves โ and I bet you will want to join them.
Mindful Coloring
When you first suggest to your teen that they do some coloring, they will probably look at you like you are crazy. Some teens might think coloring is for younger kids, but it can be an enjoyable therapeutic activity at any age. Adult coloring books are a huge hit these days, with some doctors even โprescribingโ coloring to their patients to help calm their nerves.
Coloring can help our teens feel calmer, happier and more focused. There are actual physiological changes that occur when we color. It slows down our breathing and calms the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls the fear and stress response. Coloring also gives us a sense of flow. When we do something artistic that requires intense focus, we can become so absorbed in our work to the point of being in a near meditative state. Finally, coloring provides a healthy distraction from our worries, allowing us to replace negative thoughts and images with pleasant ones.
โStudies show that coloring reduces stress and can have a positive impact on PTSD and depression,โ explainsย Jaime Pfeffer, mindfulness expert, author and success coach. โBy logging off technology and getting engaged with an art project like coloring, teens can benefit from slowing down, getting disconnected from the hustle and bustle of daily life, and letting all of their cares and worries float away.โย
Mindful Eating
Being playful with food can also help our teens practice mindfulness during their day. Mindful eating involves slowing down to savor and truly enjoy what we are putting in our mouths.
You can encourage your tweens to try some mindful eating exercises, such as asking them to use their five senses to describe the food on their plates. Through eatch bite they take, they will explore the sensation and flavor of the food that allows them to be fully present. (This might be the most enjoyable type of mindfulness activity, especially if they are eating something sweet like chocolate!)
I recently took my son out to get a special ice cream treat after a busy school day. When he started shoveling it into his mouth as fast as he could, I told him to hold on a minute and try to enjoy it. We sat down on a bench and I told him to close his eyes. (He asked me if I was nuts, but I promised him that it would make the ice cream taste way betterโand so much more.) I first asked him to take a big whiff of the ice cream. He smiled and then described its smell as chocolatey with a hint of peanut butter. Then I asked him to put a spoonful into his mouth and to describe how it felt on his tongue and the inside of his cheeks. He also talked about the flavors bursting in his mouth. I then asked him about the sounds he heard as he ate the ice cream. Finally, I asked him to open his eyes and to describe the color and other visual aspects of the ice cream.
After this fun mindful eating game, my son said he felt relaxed and more appreciative for the amazing ice cream. It was exactly what he needed after a stressful day.
Old-school games and toys
Remember all of those fun toys when you were a kid? You know, the ones that donโt require a battery or outlet? One way to help our teens be more mindful is to take them on a trip down memory lane. Check out how these old-school toys can bring some mindfulness to your teen.
- Building a House of Cards. This is no easy task, and one that takes intense concentration, patience and a steady hand. One expert site recommends that the builder take deep breaths and add the next card in that brief space between exhalation and inhalation. By incorporating deep breathing with focus, we can see how mindfulness is essential when building a house of cards.
- Dominoes. This game also requires tremendous attention and steadiness. Playing dominoes is the perfect mindful activity, and your teen will surely enjoy the challenge of lining them up in a variety of patterns like circles, horseshoes, arches and even spelling out words.
- Kaleidoscope. Looking at colorful, mesmerizing patterns can grab anyoneโs attention for minutes on end and is another wonderful way for our tweens to get lost in the moment.
- Flying a kite.ย Every summer my son loves flying a kite on the beach. Gazing up into the sky tracking the dancing kite with the crystal blue sky in the backdrop is very relaxing and another wonderful mindfulness activity to try with your tween. They will be sure to get lost in the moment, which is the whole point of being mindful.
- Handheld Ball Maze.ย Sure, your teen will probably mock this game because it has nothing on their video games, but with a little creativity they can be used as a wonderful mindfulness tool. These mazes require concentration to maneuver that tiny metal ball either around the maze or to secure it into one of the holes to win the game. I bet itโs not as easy as they think!
Kids are living hectic lives, running around from one activity to the next trying to balance school, friends and family. We can help them stay calm throughout their day by showing them simple mindfulness tricks that they can tap into whenever and wherever they feel stressed. Whether it be mindfully eating a snack or coloring in their school planner, these strategies can help them manage stress for years to come.
Certified Autism Centers in Toledo
Itโs estimated that about 1 in every 36 children in the United States have been identified with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) according to the CDCโs Autism and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring (ADDM) Network.
Year-round, especially during the summer months, it may be difficult for families with an ASD member to find sensory-safe activities. Fortunately, there are 11 different businesses and organizations in Toledo that have become a Certified Autism Center (CAC). This designation is granted by the International Board of Credentialing and Continuing Education Standards (IBCCES) to organizations that have completed autism-specific training and offer visitors various ways to enjoy activities.
The Toledo Zoo
The Toledo Zoo offers sensory bags that are available at no charge. These bags include noise-canceling headphones, a whiteboard with a marker for communicating, sensory and fidget tools, a social story, misting fan, and straws.
A sensory map is available to show visitors which parts of the zoo are most crowded and show designated sensory-friendly areas.
What about seeing the animals? The zoo includes calming viewing spaces at several exhibits.
Service animals are also welcome as long as the animal complies with ADA Title III regulations. Service animals must be on a leash unless the individualโs disability prevents using these devices or these devices interfere with the service animalโs safe, effective performance of tasks.
Destination Toledo
Destination Toledo serves as the backbone for everyone visiting Toledo. After becoming a CAC, the hope is that the city will attract new visitors to the area and expand accessibility offerings.
Metroparks Toledo
Courtesy: Metroparks Toledo
Perhaps one of the more accessible and popular options on this list, families can find numerous Metroparks sprinkled throughout Toledo that offer inclusive programming, multi-purpose trails for all ability types, and the ability to adapt several programs.
Some features include the Secor Barrier Free Playground, located at the Secor Metropark, and the Doneghy Inclusive Garden, located in the Toledo Botanical Garden.
Avenues for Autism
Their purpose is all in the name. This nonprofit organization advocates for opportunities for those living with autism to feel included, empowered, and to feel like they have the ability to succeed in life. This year, Avenues for Autism launched Autism Navigation Services to help autistic individuals develop and maximize their potential without limits.
National Museum of the Great Lakes
The museum partners with Spectrum Sailing, which provides maritime education, programming, and outreach for individuals living with autism. The museum promotes Spectrum Sailing and offers its members a chance to join.
Toledo Museum of Art
A staple in the Toledo community, the Toledo Museum of Art offers a plethora of sensory-friendly options to guests such as sensory kits that consist of earplugs, whiteboards for communication and various fidgets to calm nerves. Noise-canceling headphones are also made available at certain events, but the museum is actively working to have the headphones readily available.
Valentine Theatre
The theatre has already established a sensory program that consists of putting on a series of shows catered to individuals who may require relaxed environments.
These performances feature several accommodations for patrons with sensory sensitivities that include low-level lighting, a quiet space with soft seating, and fidgets and headphones to use during the performances.
Wingate by Wyndham Sylvania
Wingate by Wyndham Sylvania is the first ย Toledo-area hotel to earn CAC designation. This hotel nestled at the top of Sylvania the corner of Main and Monroe offers several low-sensory areas for guests who may need a break from any overstimulation. One area includes a view of a 10-mile creek to add to the tranquility of the room.
Courtesy: Imagination Station
Imagination Station
Toledoโs premier science center is adamant about making science accessible to everyone who enters its doors.
The KeyBank Discovery Theater is a popular feature for those seeking a sensory-friendly environment. The theater hosts two showtimes for 3D educational films and twice weekly staff will adjust the lights and volume for all guests to see the big screen.
Visiting families can visit the science centerโs calming room located in Little KidSpace, which anyone is welcome to use when playtime (and learning) become a little too much.
Families can also request noise-reducing headphones and earplugs, sensory-friendly bags for both adults and children that include headphones, fidget spinners, and social storyboards.
Guests can call 419-244-267 for specific accommodations or for further questions.
Toledo Speedway BMX
Toledo Speedway BMX made history when it became the first BMX track ever to become a Certified Autism Destination. You may wonder how thatโs even possible with it being such a high-intensity activity, but the speedway offers noise canceling and ear-protecting headphones and a low sensory area to escape the races and events.
Toledo Santa LLC
What is Christmas without Santa Claus? Santa Tom gives everyone a chance to tell Santa what they want for Christmas in a calming environment. Santa is available for events and private visits.
Sylvania Chamber of Commerce
You’ll receive position-specific online training courses for your staff, most of which only take 30 minutes to complete. This training helps staff understand how to communicate with visitors with autism and sensory needs, empowering them to provide a great experience.
Other organizations that have distinguished themselves as CACs are Boyds Retro Candy and Visit Perrysburg.
Toledo Express Airport
Toledo Express Airport was the first airport in the country to become a Certified Autism Center. They hold multiple AccessTOL Airport Experience Events each year, by guiding individuals through certain airport experiences, such as getting screened through TSA, retrieving a bag at baggage claim and more.ย
โHaving the first airport in the country to become a Certified Autism Center not only speaks to Toledoโs efforts to be a welcoming and inclusive destination for all travelers, but helps fill a need for the 1 in 6 people with sensory needs, a significant community of underserved travelers that we welcome with open arms in Toledo,โ Lance Woodworth, president and CEO of Destination Toledo, said.
Glass City Center
This is one of the more recent organizations to earn the Certified Autism Center designation.
โHaving some of our areaโs most beloved and most frequently visited venues become Certified Autism Centers is key to helping us reach our goal of making Toledo a Certified Autism Destination and welcoming an underserved market of individuals and families with sensory needs,โ Woodworth said. โWhen weโre mindful of the needs of our guests, weโre not only making memorable and positive memories for them, but weโre also improving the quality of life for everyone who lives, learns, works, and plays in Toledo.โ
Huntington Center
The Huntington Center recently earned the Certified Autism Center designation. โOur teams at Glass City Center and Huntington Center are committed to providing all of our guests with an outstanding experience,โ Steve Miller, general manager at Glass City Center and Huntington Center, said. โIndividuals with autism and their families are searching for activities and attractions that have their well-being in mind, and we want them to safely and enjoyably experience all of the exciting events happening at our venues.โ
TARTAโs Paratransit Division
TARTA’s Paratransit Divisiion recently earned the Certified Autism Center designation.
โPublic transportation is a vital lifeline to the community for those with mobility
challenges, and fulfilling our mission means doing everything we can to make sure
that everyone can enjoy the great things that northwest Ohio has to offer,โ said Rick
Bailey, TARTAโs Chief Customer Experience and Mobility Officer. โAutistic and
sensory-sensitive passengers deserve to be able to reach their destination with a ride
that makes them feel valued and welcome. Thatโs what we focused on with this
training and will work to continue to improve on.โ
6 Ways to Keep Your Teen Active this Winter
The winter months come with a number of challenges from the shorter days to the frigid temperatures. While hunkering down inside and sitting on the couch might sound ideal, itโs important to get up and get fit. For teenagers getting up and active is very important.ย
Itโs recommended that teens get one hour of physical activity each day, and an increased physical fitness activity level is recommended a couple days a week. However, the American Heart Association statistics show that only 25% of teens are getting that recommended daily hour of physical activity.ย
Screening for physical activity
The biggest suspected cause is probably no real surprise โ technology. In previous years, teens would spend free time playing outside with friends. However, screen time is ever increasing in adolescents. With laptops, tablets and cell phones, teens have a lot of entertainment options literally at their fingertips.ย
Although it can be difficult for some teens to break away from their screens, itโs really important that they do take that break and get physically active. Teens who are physically fit are less likely to be overweight which means they are often less likely to suffer from diabetes, hypertension and cardiac disease. Daily exercise also ensures strong bones and muscles.ย
Itโs not just a teenโs physical well-being that benefits from daily exercise; regular physical activity also has a significant effect on mental health. Childrenโs Hospital Colorado explained in a recent article that rates of depression and anxiety in teens have increased in recent years. However,ย exercising on a daily basis can help because certain bio-chemicals like serotonin, stress hormones and endorphins change when exercise occurs. These feel-good chemicals affect a teenโs mood for the better.ย
As many parents probably know, it can be difficult to get teens to do something if they donโt want to do it. So while it might always be tough to get your teen up and moving, it can be even more difficult during the winter months.ย
To help you out, we rounded up some suggestions on ways that teens can get more physically active while itโs cold outside.
Shovelingย
This might not be a favorite choice for most teens as most people would agree that shoveling isnโt much fun. But shoveling is definitely good exercise. And there are many elderly people in Northwest Ohio who could certainly benefit from a younger person coming to help shovel their drive. So whether your teen might use this as an entrepreneurial opportunity or just a great way to volunteer, shoveling is certainly a way to get exercise and help the neighbors.ย
YMCA
The YMCA of Greater Toledo has many locations in the area, and they offer lots of fun opportunities for teens such as basketball courts, swimming pools and even various fitness classes.ย
Ice Skating
One of the perks of living in Northwest Ohio in the cold winter months is the chance to go ice skating. Ottawa Park has an open air ice rink during the winter. Many Metroparks in the area have outside ice skating opportunities, specifically Glass City Metroparkโs new feature, The Ribbon. For year round fun, there are also indoor skating rinks with open skate times, including Sylvaniaโs Tam-O-Shanter and the Slater Family Ice Arena in Bowling Green.ย
Trampoline Parks
There are multiple trampoline parks in the area including Urban Air Adventure Park in Toledo, Sky Zone in Holland and Get Air Trampoline Park in Toledo. Each park not only offers trampolines, but also other attractions such as dodgeball games, Ninja Warrior courses, basketball and more. Most teens would find this a fun way to spend an afternoon, and they probably wonโt even realize theyโre also exercising!ย
Toledo Metroparks
Northwest Ohio has some pretty incredible parks. The Toledo Metroparks offer lots of fun winter activities for all ages, and often the activities are free or low cost. But even if your teen isnโt interested in participating in a scheduled event, the Metroparks are a great place to bundle up in layers and go for a walk. Hike with your teen and enjoy some quality time for conversation. If itโs super snowy, get out that sled and enjoy some of the awesome sledding spots our Metroparks have to offer.ย
Climbing gyms
Rock climbing can be a fun hobby that teens can continue throughout adulthood. Climbing gyms such as Adventus Climbing and Climb Toledo are both great places to cultivate a love of climbing. This exercise will challenge your teen as they have fun along the way.ย