No one enters marriage thinking that one day it will end in divorce. Yet, unfortunately, many marriages DO end in divorce and it can leave a person feeling like their entire life is crashing down around them. According to local divorce and parenting coach, Hannelore Pena, “Divorce is really a death, causing you to lose so many things physically and metaphorically.”
Ms. Pena knows firsthand, as she was divorced after many years of marriage when her son was just six months old. He is now five years old, and she has co-parenting as well as single parenting experience. She is a trauma-informed, certified coach and the goal of EmpowerHER Divorce and Parenting Coaching is to empower women to move past the extreme difficulties of divorce.
Ms. Pena was born in the Philippines and raised in American Samoa. She came to Pennsylvania when she was 19 and has education backgrounds in theology and early childhood. But it was from her experiences working in the nonprofit sector with the most vulnerable in society that would shift her to becoming a certified divorce and parenting coach.
Pena says she always gravitated to empowering people and just felt she had something to give. She would say that coaching found her, not the other way around. She can also relate well due to her own personal experiences of going through divorce. Her experiences help her to understand others on a much deeper level.
Coaching vs. counseling
“My work focuses on healing the relationship we have with ourselves by rebuilding self-trust, cultivating self-love, self-acceptance, and self compassion,” says Ms. Pena. She said that when something traumatic such as divorce happens, it can unearth some core wounds from our past. She is not a licensed therapist telling people what they should do, but rather a coach who listens, asking the pertinent questions at the right time that lead the women to a more insightful way of looking at things. Ultimately, she helps them rebuild self-trust.
“I don’t have your answer, but YOU do,” Pena says. When an individual reconnects with one’s self, taking a deep look inside of themselves, they ultimately feel empowered and have the capacity to not only show up for themselves but also for their children.
Is this healing approach right for you?
Words such as coaching, therapy, or counseling might seem intimidating to some, or maybe you still are not sure how they differ or which one may benefit you. Because Ms. Pena understands people’s hesitation to dabble in the unknown, she offers a free 15-minute phone consultation where you may ask her questions and get a better idea if this would be a good fit for you.
Taking it a step further, she offers one free 30-minute session where you are able to bring your agenda to work through, assessing whether or not this coaching style is something you feel you can benefit from going forward. It is important to remember this is coaching, not counseling. If Ms. Pena feels there are things out of her scope, she will refer clients to a licensed therapist or psychotherapist.
EmpowerHER is here to help you be seen, heard, and take responsibility for your healing. For more information about EmpowerHER, as well as information regarding an upcoming Healing and Divorce miniseries in collaboration with divorce coach Ashleigh Deweese, visit empowerherdivorce.com or find her on Instagram @empowerherdivorce.